My idea of “Happiness”

What is happiness? It is purely a state of mind. Well how do you get into that state? By putting your 100% in everything you do and not expecting much out of it. I think the very act that you are trying your best should make you happy. Results should be kept aside to celebrate the success or learn from them if you fail. No need to get depressed and overreact or start cursing yourself for the failure. But all this is valid only if you know that you did whatever you could. Another important thing is knowing your ability. One has to take care that if one is expecting something beyond his ability, then one should owe it to luck. After-all anything that happens by chance or beyond the ability is pure luck. If you are trying within your intellectual limits, then it depends upon how much determined you are to make it happen. No luck factor here. Well anyways, don’t take all this very seriously (the responsibility thing, not my blog ;-)) and as i said, don’t let it turn you down completely. Life is long and there is always the scope for improvement.

This was happiness with respect to success and failure and with respect to individual. But unfortunately happiness is not as simple and depends on the people around you as well. For people to make you happy, first you need to make them happy. After-all i strongly admire that what you give is what you get. So keep your side neat and clean. Make sure that you are playing the game fairly and only then you can expect a fair result. For that you need to be happy first. Only then you can reflect it in your behavior.

There are very few people who account most for your happiness. These are the people who you care the most. Mainly include your family members, family members to be and your close friends. Even in that if you prioritise, it will be your spouse (if not then your parents if you are staying with them and if not then your friends in that order). I think the saying “Happy wife(/husband), happy life” is apt.

Now starts the real topic : My idea of happiness :

• It’s not money i am running after. Money is required to get the luxuries. So let me define luxuries. Own house(not compulsory but will prefer), own car (not very fundoo, Santro will do but it should be AC) , good healthy food. Anything more than this will do but will hold a lower priority.
• For me, the family members come first then my friends. It is necessary for the family to be happy if you want to be happy. It essentially means that your wife should be happy(since i believe that she will be the closest family member). I believe that friends are there to help you and you are there to help friends. When it comes to helping from your side, it should be unconditional.
• I beleive in rational thinking. So anything that is wrong is wrong and is right is right by the virtue of logical thinking. So i like people who think rationally. This doesn’t mean that emotions have no value. They have. But they should be used to show how understanding and caring you are. And i think losing your temper and blowing things up is the easiest thing to do. But keeping your calm and consoling the person in distress rather than blasting him/her for his/her mistake is what will make you more sensible and adorable. This is because mistakes happen and everyone commits them. And if the person who has committed the mistake is already feeling guilty for it, then i think that he has realized his mistake. So at that point of time, showing compassion is more important. Whatever you want to tell him/her can be done later when he/she comes back to normal. I think that this is the time when you can show how much you care for the person rather than turning things more hostile by finger pointing.
• If something happens for which nothing can be done and no one has got a specific fault, there is no point blaming it on someone else. Eg. You (with your spouse) go out and when you come back, find that someone broke in your house and took all the valuables along with him. Now in this situation, no one is to blame since the door was locked properly. Usually, i find that one partner start blaming the other and the whole thing snowballs into insults.
• When i admire the people as i said above, i assure the same kind of behavior from my side.
• Quarreling over small things like forgetting the umbrella, losing your valet, getting vegetables at a bit higher cost than the cheapest possible price after heavy bargain and spoiling all the good mood over it is sick. It’s not even worth it.

Finally, i think that happiness comes with understanding your near and dear ones and adjusting with them. Instead of losing temper and insulting others, things can be sorted out and talked over. Fighting will only bring bitterness in one’s life. The solution lies in convincing the mistake or the issue and the ability to respect the views of others. One should be flexible to change his views or to adopt to better views as suggested by others instead of making it an issue of ego.

Happiness is all about being content in life, understanding that life is not ideal, nor are the people around you.